The Tired Chef

aargh!

2005-11-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

That darn monkey kidnapped my girlfriend Zelda again. It's really getting aggrivating, although she never seems hurt. She just gets kidnapped so easily! This time, I thought I saw her wink at him as I hauled her away... I wonder what that's all about.

Job Posting

2005-10-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

My friend at the employment office sent me this one:

Dragon Resource Allocation Manager
A high-end Gameland City dragon management business is looking for an intelligent and energetic, self starter and quick learner to start immediately. Good interpersonal and telephone skills are imperative. Must be detail oriented. Will train the right individual. Full-time, salary and benefits. Easy parking and close to transportation.

FD, do you want to manage yourself?

Cease or be eaten!

2005-10-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

I had a crazy day at work yesterday! I was sitting there, spending a little downtime on the job with a book, when this guy came up to the castle I was working and and just tried to walk right in! I couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. I tried to get him to back down peacefully, but he just kept trying to run around me! It was amazingly infuriating. When all was said and done, I ended up having to eat him. Really! I just swallowed him whole! I was amazed that things escalated so quickly!

Did anyone else have a strange day at work?

Grad School

2005-10-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a bit slow on the ladders recently at work. You may ask yourself why I have ladders in my restaurant. Lemons/Lemonade. It's a cheap space that happens to have a lot of ladders in it. Anyway, I was thinking about checking in with my old school. Maybe they offer a refresher class in ladder or a graduate program. I'll call Tank on Monday.

what a day

2005-10-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

Man, it was a rough day down at the zoo. I was minding my own business, layering bricks as usual, keeping the animals in their pens over on the green level. And then it happened. Now, normally I can jump over any animal - snake, lion, rhino, you name it - but today I must have been off my game. I wandered right into a camel, snake, and an elephant, all standing in the same place! And then, on top of it all, that stupid monkey kidnapped my girlfriend Zelda. I tell ya, some days you can't catch a break.

deus ex machina

2005-10-13T11:22:00.000-07:00

Speaking of robots taking regular jobs away:

Pizza Robot.

Will it ever end?

Pajama Fire Tester

2005-10-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

I met a lady at a bar last night who turned out to be a professional fire bug. She sits in a room all day and burns pajamas. This is one of those jobs that might just be creepy. If you put an ad in the paper for fans of arson, you'd get a lot of bad people at the interview. It's probably a job you fill out of the company's temp pool.

Sure it's a machine but...

2005-10-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

This is a strange thing to be even if you are not a person.

French Fry Robot.

A P.I.?

2005-10-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

My friend Karl in Little Gameland sent me an email he got from Jobbercizer.net. It seems that a major home decorating chain is trying to hire a head of "Pottery Imagineering". I can only guess a pottery imagineer comes up with pottery ideas. I really hope the job doesn't pay well.

You guys ever heard of this line of work?

Space Dentist

2005-09-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

This morning on the train I overheard some people talking about a friend of theirs who is a space dentist. I have no idea what that could even be. It's a tad weird but that's cool. I imagine being a space dentist would be as rewarding as it is satisfying.

REST CON

2005-09-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

I was at a restaurant convention over the weekend. Everyone at the convention had boring stories about how” restaurants are hard to run” and that “the food business is risky”. It was pretty boring as far as conferences go. But it did make me realize that having a weird job is sometimes better than a normal one. Like I kind of like that I’m more worried about being assaulted by hot dogs than I am about the health inspector.

top ten

2005-09-24T14:38:00.000-07:00

News Weekly Magazine And Review has a cover story about jobs and the economy. There is a sidebar on page 32 about the “10 Weirdest Jobs”. The 10 weirdest jobs are as follows:
10. Pad Lock Endorser
9. Grape Man
8. Bread Chief
7. Mouse
6. Junior Assistant Jewel Thief
5. Car Masseuse
4. Security Dragon
3. Future Salesman
2. Big Giant
1. Quad Runner

This is a pretty good list. I’m not one to judge though. My question is, has anyone ever met a Quad Runner?

Great

2005-09-20T17:29:00.000-07:00

Cheese graters are awesomely expensive. I just found this out today. I went to a cheese grater store looking for a new cheese grater. I’ve only ever owned one and it was a gift. Anyway I found that out and also found out that a good cheese grater is even more expensive than a regular one. But you figured that out. Price is not a huge factor for me - I can write a cheese grater off. What bothers me most is the design on these things. Many are weird three sided pyramid things. I understand that it allows for three different sizes of cheese gratings, but it’s just an ugly thing to have around.

End of rant.

Peter Pepper's Weird Job

2005-09-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

After talking to some folks the other day, I realized my job is a little unusual. Well not the job itself, but the way I do it. I am a chef. That's pretty normal. But I have a restaurant that is fairly unusual.

You see, I make giant burgers for my customers and to do this, I have to put them together via huge platforms. You'll understand when you see it. But here's the part that makes it really weird. My kitchen is overrun with giant eggs, pickles and hot dogs who would rather not see me do my job. I guess it's because they are also food and they're offended by what I do or something.

Anyway, I'm starting this community so I can write about my weird job. It would also be cool if other folks chimed in with stories about their odd daily grinds.